Friday, March 16, 2012

Learning Journal #24: Reciprocity

Today in class we talked about reciprocity with in Tonga.  To me reciprocity works two ways, where someone is giving back for what they've received.  I think it'll be a challenge to show reciprocity in Tonga because there could be misconceptions of it.  For example, when Nick mentioned in class that when he tried to sweep the house, his host mom told him to stop and give her the broom so she could do it.  I think one of the reasons why his host mom took away the broom was because she didn't want to be a "bad host" or have others in the community view her as a "bad host" to the foreigners.  In Tongan class, Sione mentioned that Tongans value the land and relationships.  I think that's so true!  Keeping good relations with other people is such an important value in the culture.  Whenever someone came over to my house (in Hawaii), they were treated as "guests."  That meant that my sister or I would have to be the one to serve them drinks or whatever food we had.  We had to make sure the house was clean and that the guest would sit on something comfortable.  That was the respectful thing to do, was to serve them by not letting them stand up to get food or a drink.  This is different in America as here people think it's respectful to take your dishes back to the sink and wash them, and things like that.   

However, like what Nick said, I think there are different ways we could show our appreciation to our host family in Tonga without offending them.  An easy thing I can do is to clean up after myself so my host family won't feel they would have to clean up as much.  I could also do house chores after observing what are the daily chores they do, without them asking me.  I think even spending time with them, even with the children, will be a way of reciprocating my appreciation to them.  I think if I show that I want to help and want to learn more about them, that it'll be easier for me to integrate into the home.         

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